Still in one piece 

Today has been one of those days to top last year when instead of putting my car key in the ignition, I put my seat belt buckle in instead. I’m surprised I’ve made it to this time of day, but somehow I’m still standing (actually sitting).
I had a heavy feeling in my heart from the moment I woke up. I struggled to eat anything substantial for sahur last night and I have really paid the price for it today. My day started unfortunately with a few disagreements with regards to progressing with the divorce and as much as I have tried to avoid any conflict, I realised that I could not go a whole month without trying to make some move forward. Needless to say, I felt upset and run down afterwards, and that more or less shaped my whole afternoon.
With every window down in the car, I drove my girls to spend a few hours with their friends and then headed with my son to find party supplies for my youngest daughters birthday. He thought it was amusing that I couldn’t even answer the most basic of his questions without feeling like I had steam coming out of my ears. Of course I had a lot on my mind, and along with the fact that I’ve had a liquid dinner for the past two evenings out of three, it hasn’t done much for my energy levels. 
Ever the efficient driver, I somehow managed to misjudge the metal barrier in front of my parking spot and clipped the front of the car as I parked. It took me a good 5 minutes to pluck up the courage to get out and check the damage, but luck was on my side when I got away with just a tiny little scuff. I then wandered aimlessly looking for invitations and other bits, buying stuff I didn’t even need and drove straight past the large Asda at the same time as suggesting to my son we go to an Asda to look for tropical themed party props. I had started to lose the will to live.
A successful shop later and as a treat, I offered to buy my son his favourite take away for tea. Whilst sitting in the car park struggling to read what was in front of me, I logged into the Just Eat app, ready to spend the next ten minutes trying to navigate my way around ordering a chicken wrap. He looked at me and asked why I just didn’t phone them when the number was starting me in the face. Smart child. 
At this point is was peak time traffic. Not the best of times to be stuck in a car with a child who is reading the lamest of jokes out of his new book, whilst I can feel my insides shrinking by the second. A good thirty minutes and a bit of road rage later, we arrive at the take away. No sooner do I step foot out of the car and I feel it rolling backwards. Yes, I had forgotten to put on the hand brake. As if my pride hadn’t been dented enough, it was witnessed by around eight youths loitering, and tried to redeem myself by complaining in a loud voice that I had been sold a dodgy car. The stench of eight teens smoking cannabis doesn’t do wonders on an empty stomach, and I stopped just short of flying back home.
I have now safely returned home with no further injury to any person or vehicle. I’m sure that as I am blonde by default, I will manage to break or damage something before iftar. Seriously though, I have realised today just how important it is to make the most of sahur. I would not want to have to break my fast earlier than needed because I hadn’t taken care of myself properly. I am proud that I am managing as well as I have and that we are already on day four. There is still a long way to go, but compared to this time last year, I am in a better place emotionally and able to appreciate the holy month much more. 
The events of today have been another reminder to be thankful. Even when it feels like the day will be a disaster, our attitudes can change the whole outlook. Be positive, and you will get it in return. Smile, and you will receive a smile back. Do something silly? Laugh it off. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. If you have a roof over your head, your health and friends and family who care for you, then you’re already one of the richest people in the world.

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rachellnorth

Mum of three beautiful kids. I love craft, craft and a little bit more craft. All quotes are my own.

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